


Frisk the Virgin

by orphan_account



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: 3am smut practice gone completely wrong, 95 percent dialogue bc im lazy, Can I rate this T and still use the word nipples in a sexual context, Chara has all the pronouns, Chara is debatable, Charisk anyone?, Frisk hates it, Frisk is female, I hear its cold there, I'm not sorry though, I've never been to Alaska sorry, It can be Frans if you're into that, Multi, Sans is trying to parent, So Daddy Sans I guess, Theyheshe can be whatever, This is a shameless crackfic, everyone hates it really, i don't think so, that'll make sense in chap 3
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-05 02:27:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11568402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Frisk angrily sipped her tea and set it down. “You might've been able to keep Papyrus a virgin, but you aren't stopping me.”Sans raised a brow bone. “is that a challenge, kid?”“It's a promise.”-Life back on the surface is chaos for Frisk. Things were so much easier before she had raging hormones, but now that she does, she isn't about to let her caretaker - Sans the Skeleton - obstruct her youth.(DISCONTINUED Crackfic)





	1. what do they say about promises?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans, get out of her room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read the tags, you should have a good idea what you're in for. 
> 
> **Warning(s):** Sexual situations, profanity—that probably goes for every chapter
> 
> I wrote this at 3am and I thought I would wake up sorry, but I decided to publish it a week later, so I'm not sorry.

She angled her neck to the side to give him better access, his hot mouth opening behind her ear, tongue sliding down the curve of her neck. Frisk shuddered and ran her fingers through his creamy brown hair, her blunt nails scraping his scalp.

Her sweater hung from the bedside lamp and his dangled dangerously from the ceiling fan. Frisk blinked her eyes open, staring at the ceiling as that hot mouth of his moved downward, kissing the tops of her breasts, the pads of his thumbs teasing her nipples through her bra.

“Chara…” Frisk breathed out his name happily, enjoying the heat of his sinewy body over hers. She looked into his red eyes for a second before letting her gaze travel down the milky expanse of him, his pale skin taut over the lean, ever-moving muscles of his back. Her eyes closed, black eye shadow shimmering in the light streaming through the window.

“Let’s get this off…” Chara mumbled, biting her breast over her bra and tugging at the fabric with his teeth.

Frisk grinned, but her eye twitched. She could've sworn she heard the floorboards creak. She waited a beat and then dismissed it as her own paranoia. Chara was playing with the underwire of her bra and she sat up, giggling. “This one isn't a front opener. Unclasp the back,” she instructed him. He used the opportunity to press his body flush against hers, her legs opened invitingly. Her skirt had ridden up obscenely, black thong on display for her partner.

Chara’s soft hands ghosted up her back, Frisk’s chin dug into his shoulder, kissing the soft skin at the dip of his neck as he had hers. His skin bruised easily, she left multiple lovebites, completely unabashed. The soft moans only egged her on.

There was that creaking again. She was unable to cast it to the side now, it was very real. As real as it was annoying.

Cool fingers deftly tugged at the band of her bra and Frisk looked over Chara’s shoulder, watching her bedroom door. The creaking grew louder and Frisk groaned.

Three loud knocks made Chara flinch.

“Is that…?” He asked.

“Maybe if we’re quiet he’ll go away,” Frisk grumbled. She and Chara were sitting upright, chests pressed together, Frisk’s legs crossed behind his back.

It was quiet for a few beats and Frisk encouraged Chara with a rock of her hips, he replied with a stuttered moan and bucked against her, his hot breath running down her shoulder as he continued the arduous task of solving the complex puzzle that was the clasp of her bra.

Three more loud knocks and Frisk flinched against Chara.

Then the doorknob jiggled. She heard a low baritone voice curse and she sighed, a muscle working in her jaw. “Don't come in!” She shouted right by Chara’s ear, making the boy wince.

“what did i tell ya ‘bout lockin’ doors?!” The deep voice countered. Chara grimaced at a buzzing sound from outside and then the room lit up in blue. There was a deafening burst of sound and blinding blue light. Dust and bits of drywall clouded the air and when it all settled, Frisk found Sans standing in what used to be her doorway, a Gaster blaster floating behind him, blue smoke trailing from its opened jaws.

She looked unimpressed.

“Your wall!” Chara exclaimed. Frisk looked over her shoulder and noted that Sans not only blew through her door, but the opposite wall as well, there was now snow drifting in through the ginormous, charred hole in her wall.

Frisk locked eyes with Sans over Chara’s naked back. “Hi Sans,” she said.

“why the fuck is he in your room?”

“He's my boyfriend. He goes where I go.”

“then you two can _go_ downstairs.”

“Don't wanna be downstairs.”

“too damn bad.”

“It really is. So here we are.”

“kid.”

“Sans.”

The skeleton let out a loud groan of frustration, hand clattering against his skull. “asgore, give me strength,” he mumbled, snuffing out the cyan glow in his left socket before meeting Frisk and her half-naked companion with a steady gaze. “frisk, i only make these rules because i care about your well-being.”

“Did you read that in your ‘Parenting a Teen Girl’ book?”

“...no.”

“You _so_ did.”

“how do you even know i have that!?”

She shrugged.

Sans growled and stepped through the doorway, a chunk of charred drywall crumbling under his pink bedroom slipper. “anyways, it's because i care about you that i can't have you acting like a fuckin’ hussy!”

“Who even says hussy anymore?” Chara pointed out, shifting off of Frisk and laying down beside her, revealing the girl’s half naked torso.

“not the poin- ah! god! where’s ya fuckin’ shirt!?” The pinpricks in the skeleton’s sockets averted and Frisk shrugged.

“It was on my lamp…” She looked to the side and noticed that half of her lamp was gone. The rest was burned black. “Well, it's gone now. Bummer.” Frisk shivered as she caught a sub-zero draft from outside. “Can we talk about how you just demolished my room?”

“downstairs _now.”_

Frisk folded her arms over her chest. “No.”

“i’m tryna be nice here, kid.”

“Tell that to my fucking room!”

“don't fuckin’ swear!” Sans was yelling now.

“But you just-” Chara was cut of by Frisk indignantly shouting: “Fuck, fuck, fuckidy, fuck, _fuck!”_

Sans’ skull flushed blue with irritation, sockets thinning. “clothes on. downstairs. no swearing. i’ll count to five.”

“I'm just gonna…” Chara began to scoot to the edge of the bed when Frisk grabbed his wrist. “You're not going anywhere,” she said lowly. Her gaze turned to Sans. “He is.”

“one…”

“Sans this is _not cool._ GET OUT OF MY ROOOOM!” Frisk screamed.

Sans sighed. “two…”

“GET.”

“three…”

“OUT.”

“four…”

“GET-OUT, OF-IT.”

Sans looked up and removed his hands from his pockets, holding them out as he shrugged. “five. I tried to be nice kiddo-” his eye flashed cyan and Frisk heard Chara fall of the bed. She rolled her eyes as he scurried to get his charred sweater from the ceiling fan. “-looks like you're gonna have a bad time.”

Frisk knitted her brows together, dark eyes closing as she roared her loudest shout yet. “PAPYRUUUUUUUSSSS!!”

Silence.

Frisk blinked and Sans was suddenly in front of her, holding Chara by his locks of bone-straight hair. “looks like he isn’t even home-”

“NYEHEHEHEHEHEH!!!!!!!!!”

Frisk jolted and the walls of her abused room shuddered as Papyrus leapt inside through the hole in her wall.

“DID YOU PURPOSELY MUTILATE OUR HOME FOR MY DRAMATIC ENTRANCE, BROTHER?”

Sans’s jaw set and Chara squealed. Frisk assumed her bone-guardian was taking his aggravation out on Chara’s poor scalp.

“sure did, bro.” He shot Frisk a glare and the teen shrugged, wearing her cutest smile.

“HOW KIND OF YOU, BROTHER. CONVENIENT AS WELL. IT SEEMS OUR HUMAN IS IN NEED OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS’S HELP.” The tall skeleton turned to view Frisk and tilted his head. “DO YOU NEED HELP FINDING A SHIRT, HUMAN?”

“Nah.”

“AH. THEN WHAT IS THE PROBLEM?”

“Well I hate pointing fingers, but…” Frisk pointed at Sans and the lights in the skeleton’s sockets rolled.

“WHAT HAS MY LAZY-BONES BROTHER DONE?”

“Well,” Frisk began, glancing at Chara and noticing how his red eyes bored into her. “Actually, he needs to put my boyfriend down first.”

“not happenin’.”

“SANS!” Papyrus intervened.

Chara dropped to the floor. “I'm going home.”

Everyone said no.

“You see,” Frisk began. “I was spending quality time with Chara and Sans just barged in! We weren't doing anything wrong-” Sans coughed “- and he demanded that we go downstairs. AFTER destroying my room.”

“WELL HE ONLY DESTROYED YOUR ROOM FOR MY ENTRANCE, BUT I SEE YOUR PROBLEM.”

“How is the destruction of her room not the main issue?” Chara interjected. Frisk threw a pillow at him and Sans used magic to roll him under the bed.

“SANS…” Papyrus began. “YOU CANNOT FORCE THE HUMAN DOWNSTAIRS BECAUSE YOU ARE LONELY.”

“... _what.”_

“I KNOW I’VE BEEN AWAY AT TRAINING AND OUR HOME IS EMPTY WITHOUT ME. I KNOW FRISK USED TO CURB SOME OF THAT LONELINESS WITH HER MEDIOCRENESS—”

“Mediocreness!?”

“—BUT NOW THAT SHE HAS A SIGNIFICANT OTHER, YOU MUST RESPECT HER CHOICE TO SPEND TIME WITH THEM.”

Sans stared at his brother with wide sockets and Frisk snickered. “ _Daddy Sans_ why didn't you tell me you were lonely?”

“i told you not to call me that.”

“Daddy who!?” Chara demanded, his voice sounding incredibly distant from the shadows beneath Frisk’s bed.

“bro…” Sans began. “i’m not lonely… it's just that chara has bad intentions for our human. they can't be alone together.”

Frisk rolled her eyes, “Bad intentions!? What is this? Medieval times!? The stone age!? Afraid I’ll throw away my ‘virtue’?!”

“frisk you are too young!” Sans snapped.

“And you’re old and backwards as shit!”

“i said don't fuckin’ swear!”

“FUCK YOU!”

“fuck _you!”_

“EVERYONE CALM DOWN,” Papyrus cried.

The situation only escalated.

 

* * *

 

Eventually Chara went home and Frisk made her way downstairs due to a rumbling stomach and the fact that snow had begun piling around her bed. Frisk lazily stirred sugar into a cup of tea, the corners of her mouth turned down. She was wearing Chara’s sweater since he had ran away without it.

It smelled burned.

It was kinda gross.

“eaten yet?” A person she never wanted to see again said from the kitchen doorway.

“I'm sorry, what?”

“i asked if you'd eaten yet,” Sans clarified.

“Sorry, did you say that you eat ass?”

She was met with a groan and he stepped into the kitchen, much to her displeasure. “m’sorry about blastin’ a hole through yer room. the online parenting forum told me that was probably real traumatic for ya and that you should be removed from my custody because i’m a danger to yer physical and emotional wellness.”

Frisk’s eyes lit up.

“don't worry though, that's not gonna happen. i’m anonymous on there anyway. they’ll never know.”

Frisk’s frowned deepened. “What a relief,” she said sarcastically.

Either Sans didn't notice, or didn't care. “listen-”

Frisk mumbled ‘here we go’ under her breath.

“-you got a lot of stuff happening in you right now kid. lots of chemicals doin’ stuff. hormones and all that… so it's hard for you to understand that i’m tryna do what's best for you.”

“You cockblocked me.”

“you don't have a… wait…” Sans squinted and gave Frisk a once-over. He was still rusty on human anatomy. “yea, you don't have one of those.”

“You pussyblocked me.”

“sounds weird.”

“You prevented me from having sex, Sans. How on god’s green earth is that good from me!?”

“you're twelve!”

“I AM NOT!” She screeched in disbelief.

Sans froze, “huh?”

“I'm sixteen you f-”

His left socket lit up. “don't swear.”

“ _ffffrreaking…_ ignorant...person.”

“sixteen, huh? when did that happen?”

“My birthday.”

“when did that happen?”

“YOU WERE THERE!”

Sans looked to the side in contemplation, then seemed to cast the thought away entirely. “the fact of the matter is: you're still too young.”

Frisk angrily sipped her tea and set it down. “You might've been able to keep Papyrus a virgin, but you aren't stopping me.”

Sans raised a brow bone. “is that a challenge, kid?”

“It's a promise.”


	2. GO HOME MK!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love caps lock

Frisk zipped her coat up to her nose, pulled her socks up over her leggings, strapped on her snowshoes, and rose to her feet. Her mission begins now.

She swung open the front door of the skeleton residence and was greeted with a white blanket of snow and fat flurries blowing in the wind—courtesy of New Snowdin, Alaska weather.

Frisk pulled her goggles down over her face, the tip of her nose the only part of her face that was still visible.

Frisk stepped outside onto the snow, not sinking into it because of her state of the art shoes. She grinned underneath the wool of her scarf.

She would find Chara.

And she would bone the fuck out of him.

“Hah...haha...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AAAAHHH AHAHAHA!” Frisk cackled and set out into the snow, ignoring all the strange looks she got from all her neighbors. New Snowdin was a small town, she was pretty sure the rumors of her hussyness would spread like wildfire.

It would be perfect.

As Frisk traversed through the blizzard, she was already wondering how she would tell Sans that he’d been beaten. That she’d lost her virginity.

Maybe in the form of a pun?

“Hi-man, just tore my hy-men…” No, that wouldn't work.

Frisk didn't know any puns about virginity. This frustrated her.

“Did you know I spread my legs like butter on bread?” Frisk felt clever for that one, but the context would have to be right. She would have to purposely buy bread and butter for that.

Was it worth it? Yeah.

“Yo Frisk!”

The teen stopped mid-step and turned around to see her good friend MK. He wore a hat and striped sweater, a band-aid over his maw.

“Yo,” Frisk greeted.

“You were mumbling some pretty weird stuff just now, anything I can help you with?” He asked, lifting his scaled brows.

Frisk shook her head. “Oh, no help needed. That must've been weird to hear. Sorry.”

“Yeah…” he agreed. “Didn't know you spread your legs like butter on bread.”

“Hey that's copyrighted. I'll sue you.”

“Yeesh, okay. It's not even that great.”

Frisk’s eyes squinted into her super-squint glare. “Can you do better?”

MK made a face of concentration for all of two seconds and then settled on “no.” He followed her for a bit longer and then asked, “Where are we going?”

Frisk hated when people invited themselves places. “No clue where you’re going, but I’m gonna go get pounded.”

“Then I can totally come with.”

Frisk’s steps stuttered, “excusemewhat?”

“Like… I can do the pound-”

Frisk inhaled sharply before letting her reaction out at a scream-like pitch, “EWWWWW NOOOOOOOOO. GO HOME MK!”

“But-”

“NO.”

“Frisk,”

“nO.”

MK sighed and hung his head before turning around, tail dragging in the snow. He tripped and a drift of snow fell on him from one of the trees lining the road.

Frisk turned away and lolled out her tongue in disgust and got a mouthful of her scarf. “As if!”

 

* * *

 

Chara was in his backyard.

It took her an embarrassingly long time to find that out and she knew Sans had to have realized she wasn't at home by now.

He would definitely figure where she’d gone too. Shit.

“Chara!” Frisk panted after finally finding the prince in question. “I've been looking everywhere for you!”

“Can't imagine why.” Chara’s angst ridden voice replied. There was practically a dark cloud hanging over him. Frisk noticed the grass around him was brown and dry.

Her steps slowed. She sensed danger afoot. “Uh… why can't you imagine... why?”

“Just thought you'd be too wrapped up in bones.”

“If I were going to be wrapped in anything, it would be cartilage, because-”

“I KNOW BONE ISN'T FLEXIBLE, FRISK! I’M MAKING A POINT!” Chara snapped. He slowly looked over his shoulder, red eyes bright and angry.

Frisk jolted and lifted her brows. “Oh…” she said. She hadn't anticipated this. She really needed to bone him quick. “Well, uh… I'm missing it.”

“Clearly.”

“Can we talk about this later… I uh…” Frisk looked over her shoulder anxiously, but Chara didn't notice. “I need you, Chara.”

She was met with a dry laugh, “Go bone yourself then. With a bone. That's attached to a skeleton. A skeleton that lives with you.”

Frisk placed a hand on her chin. “You're going to have to be a _taaaad_ more specific than that.”

“Sans. I'm talking about Sans.”

“Ah.”

Silence.

Frisk processed exactly what Chara was implying. “Wait- EW! Dude, what the fuck!?”

“Don't sound so appalled! I know you've thought about it!”

“What the hell, you think you're in my head or some shit!? No, I've never thought about that!”

“You called him daddy!”

“And!?”

“You… never call _me_ that.”

What the fuck. Wait, she needs to say that out loud. “What the fuck!?”

Chara turned around fully, scowling. “You heard me!”

“I wish I hadn't!”

“Too bad!”

“It _is!_ My ears are _bleeding!_ Chara, I call him that because he's a father figure! Wanna know why I don't call you that?”

“...because I'm not a-”

“BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT A FATHER FIGURE! You're my boyfriend. Get over this shit and fuck me, god damn.”

“I'm not a sack of meat, you know. I have feelings.”

Frisk could hear Megalovania in the distance. She began to sweat and started unzipping her numerous jackets. “Yeah, yeah…” Though she wasn't sure wanting to be called daddy is a good representation of said feelings.

“What are you doing?” Chara asked, crossing his arms.

“Getting ready for some tenderizing.”

“I SAID I’M NOT MEAT!”

“AND I SAID FUCK ME!”

“FUCK YOU!”

“I MEANT LITERALLY,” Frisk shouted, her voice cracking.

Chara looked at her with disbelief and shook his head. “This is all a game to you.”

Frisk didn't comment on that.

“Well. Have fun playing by yourself. Or _with_ yourself, really.” Chara turned and began to walk away into the tall grass. Frisk gaped like a fish out of water.

“You are sooo not walking away right now!” She exclaimed. “This is… this is malarkey!”

Chara looked at her from over his shoulder. There was a beat of heavy, super dramatic silence. “You know what you have to do to make me stay…” he said lowly.

Frisk knitted her brows together. “Chara…” she sighed. “Don't be weeeiirrrddd…”

“Bye, Frisk.”

“NO. WAIT. _FUCK!”_

Chara paused and looked over his shoulder, again.

Frisk let out a long sigh and really considered what she was about to do. Was the dick even worth it? She looked at Chara and then glanced to his trousers, her mascara caked lashes swooping down.

She still wasn't sure, but she did know that defying Sans was.

“Please, don't go…” Frisk said, getting down on her knees. Chara’s eyes lit up and her turned to face her, smirking triumphantly. Frisk smiled coquettishly. “I need you, dadd-”

**“n o p e.”**

Sans appeared in front of Frisk in a puff of blue smoke, obscuring her view of Chara. Music blasted all around and no one was really sure where from.

“Shoot,” Frisk cursed, coughing from the wisps of blue smoke, seconds before a skeletal hand grabbed her face.

Chara sighed “so close” and turned to head back into his house.

“hey, kid.”

He paused and looked over his shoulder for the umpteenth time. “It’s Chara.”

“whatever. tell your mom i said hi.”

“Tell… my mom?” Chara raised a brow.

Sans stared at him.

Chara’s red eyes widened and he slowly shook his head.

Sans chuckled and wiggled his brow bones.

Disgust covered Chara’s face and he quickly ran inside to find a knife.

But by the time he and his knife returned, Sans and Frisk were gone.

 

* * *

 

Sans threw Frisk by her face onto the couch and she wheezed when she hit the cushions. “Abuse!” She cried. “Abuse! Abuse! Abu—”

A pillow covered her face and she screamed into it. Sans pressed it down until he could speak over her clearly. “you're grounded,” he told her before lifting the pillow, two black marks from her eye shadow were left on it.

“No, I'm Fris—” the pillow pressed onto her face again and she squirmed, left hand hitting the couch in a ‘tapout’ motion. Sans lifted the pillow, her eye shadow was smeared down to her cheeks.

“Fine,” Frisk conceded, chest heaving. “I'm grounded.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) Parenting at its finest


	3. breast of the situation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is there anywhere I won't go with this fic.

Frisk straddled her boyfriend and leaned down to meet his lips. They felt so much softer than she last remembered. Everything about him felt softer and smoother than she remembered. It had been two weeks since Frisk was grounded and they had been hell. Sans was breathing down her neck non-stop; watching her every move; taking shortcuts to wherever she was every five minutes—even when he is supposed to be working.

Awful.

But… Frisk found a way out. She ground up her melatonin pills and stirred them into his ketchup. She hadn’t been sure it would work, but since Sans fell asleep just fine on his own she figured some help would knock him out for a good chunk of time.

Or kill him… She hadn't ever seen Sans consume anything but ketchup. Is that because he can't have anything else?

Frisk paused against Chara’s lips and thought about that.

…

Too late now. Either way, the plot worked and put him out of commission so Frisk could sneak out. She had more than enough time to do this.

Chara’s sweet smelling breath puffed over her lips, he tasted like raspberries today. “Did I…” kiss, “mention how…” kiss, “sexy you look in my sweater?”

Frisk giggled as his hands groped her through the charred fibers of his poor sweater. “Does that mean I can keep it?”

“Hell yes,” he panted, hand sliding down her back and gripping her butt.

“Alright, baby…” Frisk grinned and gripped the zipper of Chara’s Adidas jacket. “Let’s pop my cherry.”

Chara made a face.

Frisk pulled down the zipper and was met with…

Cleavage.

Frisk tilted her head. She zipped the jacket back up, then zipped it back down.

Still cleavage.

Zip up.

Zip down.

Still cleavage.

…

Up, down, cleavage.

Frisk reached up and groped Chara’s suddenly voluptuous chest. She squeezed him with irritation and Chara let out a breathy moan.

“What the fuck, Chara!?” Frisk snapped.

He knitted his fine brows together, “you don't like it?”

Frisk rolled her eyes and unzipped the Adidas jacket fully. “Of course, I like it… it's just… I wanted to…”

“We still can,” Chara said excitedly.

Frisk cocked up a brow and reached between Chara’s legs. As expected, there was nothing of use to her there. “You have no dick!” Frisk snapped. “Listen, we can have really really hot lesbian sex later, I need you to have a dick right now.”

Chara flushed and pushed Frisk off. He, well, _she_ twirled a piece of hair around her finger. “It's an overnight process…”

“Over—ugh! Damn it.” Frisk ran a hand through her hair. This isn’t the first time that Chara’s done this, but it was sure as hell the most inconvenient time.

“Why’s it mean so much to you anyway?” Chara prodded, leaning forward and placing a hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder.

Frisk was facepalming and peeked at Chara through her fingers.

_“This is all just a game to you.”_

Frisk realized telling Chara that she was doing this to get at Sans wasn't the best thing to say. Nor would saying that she risked murdering Sans just to get her cherry popped. “Uhhh…” Frisk fished around in her head for something to say. “I've just… got this ache…” she lowered her hand and cupped the side of Chara’s face, “inside of me… that only you can fill.”

Chara’s red eyes widened, pretty long lashes fanning out. Frisk almost felt bad. “Well,” Chara said, blushing. “We’ll just have to see what I can do in the meantime then.” A pale hand splayed on Frisk's chest and she found herself pushed back onto the bed.

“With what, your fist?” Frisk mumbled, bitterly.

“Huh?”

“Nothing, baby.”

This really put a wrench in her plans. Maybe she could just lie and tell Sans that she’d lost her V-card and that he’s a terrible legal guardian. But where is the fun in that?

Chara hooked her fingers in the band of Frisk’s legging and tugged them down to her ankles. The straight haired brunette then began pressing hot kisses to Frisk’s calf, up. Frisk sighed at the feeling, the butterfly kisses teetering between arousing and ticklish.

Then she heard it.

Megalovania.

“No…” both she and Chara muttered. Toriel’s voice could be heard from the hall and a deeper voice was chatting with her.

“Buzzkill,” Chara said.

“Tell me about it,” Frisk agreed.

Loud footsteps approached from the hall. A familiar buzzing of magic sounded from outside the bedroom door.

“WAIT MY DOOR!” Chara shouted, practically flying off the bed. “IT’S NOT LOCKED!” 

The doorknob slowly turned and opened with a quiet creak. Sans stepped into the room, hood pulled over his head, snow dappling his jacket, left socket glowing. A large skeletal dragon-head floating in behind him, closing its jaws. Sans looked at Chara and glanced away. Chara raised a brow and realized her jacket was completely unzipped, exposing her bra and new breasts. She zipped it quickly. “My bad.”

“frisk…” Sans began, allowing the Gaster blaster to disappear.

“Don’t start…” The girl whined.

“what are you and this nice young lady doing in chara’s room, hm?”

Frisk groaned and threw a blanket over herself, rolling up in it. “Are you blind? That _is_ Chara,” Frisk said, her voice muffled.

Sans did a double take and Chara waved innocently. “how…?”

“I came back from the dead,” Chara said. “And you're surprised by this?” She gestured to her chest.

Sans shrugged.

Chara frowned and reached behind her head, tying her hair into a short ponytail, the longer sides of her bangs framing her face. “Just take her and go.”

Frisk poked her head out of the blanket burrito she’d rolled in. “Excuse me!?”

“He’ll just destroy my room if you don't!”

“Are you saying that I'm not worth your room!?”

Sans scratched the back of his skull. “he didn't say that, frisk.”

 _“She!”_   Both Frisk and Chara snapped. Sans sighed an apology.

Chara glanced to the side. “But… my room is kind of important to me...”

“Kind of!? You know what,” Frisk exclaimed. “Fine! I'm leaving. And I'm not coming back! You’ll never see me again! Let's go, Sans.” Frisk wiggled to the edge of the bed in her blanket burrito. Sans slowly started toward her and Chara cut in.

“We’re pretty much neighbors! We go to the same school! We’re bound to see each other again!”

“SANS!” Frisk screamed, needing to make a hasty escape before Chara said something else that was perfectly logical.

“comin’, comin’...” the skeleton sighed. He grabbed Frisk bridal style and turned toward the door.

“Frisk that's my blanket…” Chara pointed out glumly.

Frisk flicked her off from over Sans’s shoulder. Sans chuckled lowly, “way to make the _breast_ of this situation, kid.”

On the way out, Sans and Frisk bumped into Toriel. She mentioned how Frisk was too old to be swaddled and Sans turned into a blue, blushing mess. “i… uh… i…”

“I like being swaddled,” Frisk lied in Sans’ defense.

Toriel lifted her brows. “You do?” She gasped. She looked down. “Is that a human thing?”

Frisk gave the goat monster an unconvincing look, but Toriel continued anyway. “Do you think that Chara still wants to be swaddled... but has been too afraid to ask me?”

Frisk paused in Sans’s arms and then grinned. _“Yes.”_

 

* * *

 

“sorry about your girl-boy-friend,” Sans said as he set Frisk down on the couch.

“Sorry enough to unground me?”

“not really.”

Frisk sighed as he sat on the couch beside her, lifted her blanket wrapped legs and setting them back down on his femurs. “That sucks.”

“yup.”

“This sucks.”

Sans grabbed the remote from the coffee table by the couch and switched the TV on. “yuuup.”

Sans was just starting to get into the National Geographic channel when Frisk blurted out: “Chara was definitely in the wrong, right? She's not used to handling female hormones. She went crazy.”

Sweat beaded on Sans’ skull. This was the moment. He had read about this in his parenting book. He was neutral, he waited, he didn’t press her, and lo and behold, Frisk was reaching out to him! Asking _him_ for advice. Just why did it have to be about her fight with Chara? Sans mentally facepalmed. Frisk had clearly been out of line for multiple reasons, most of which that Chara wasn't aware of. Was he supposed to lie?

Nah. Frisk liked honesty.

“well tibianest kiddo… you did kind of… explode on her with that ‘never see me again,’ mess. you know that right?”

He was met with cold, not understanding eyes. The girl leaned back against the couch arm and sunk into her blanket burrito. “Why are you so baaadddd at this!?” She cried, mostly talking _at_   Sans rather than _to_   him.

Sans struck an offended tone. “hell does that mean?”

“You were supposed to encourage me! That's what it said in the book! Uplift me! Not kick me into a roadside ditch, steal my shoes, and toss your unfinished, melted slurpee on me!”

“that was oddly specific. also stop reading my parenting book.”

“Just go away!”

“we’re in the living room, s’kinda a common space.”

“Well I can't move!” Frisk exclaimed, wiggling within her blankets. Sans felt himself getting a migraine and waved her off. He glanced to the TV, a documentary about the life cycle of a monarch butterfly was playing. Sans compared Frisk to the chrysalis stage of the insect. “you know, kid… all this stuff, all these emotions may seem inconvenient and pointless. life may seem to be at a standstill, but in the end it'll leave you a wise and beautiful—”

“Lame.”

“—young woman,” Sans finished with less enthusiasm.

Frisk’s dark eyelids shimmered as she rolled her eyes, mascara caked lashes fluttering like butterfly wings. Though she seemed to ignore what he’d said completely, Sans felt like his comparison had been correct. He patted himself on the back (while muttering "dad points") and returned his attention to the television. The British narrator was praising the flora and fauna that the monarch butterflies breeze by on their migration south to Mexico. “the surface is great…” Sans said.

Frisk was still struggling to move while being wrapped in blankets. “A little help!” She snapped.

Sans was entranced by the flock of orange and black wings.

Frisk wriggled off the couch like a caterpillar and let out a small scream as she fell to the floor. Her head cracked against the side of the coffee table just as she hit the floor. She shouted something incoherent.

Sans leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “kid did you know they migrate that far? those persistent little bugs!”

Frisk was dallying on the verge of unconsciousness when she noticed a glow from under the couch. It was her phone. She twisted to get her arm out of the blanket and reached for the light.

**< Message from Chara<3>**

Frisk’s eyes widened and her lips stretched into a grin. “I knew she’d come crawling back…” Frisk unlocked her phone.

**Chara <3: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO**

**< Chara<3 sent a video>**

Frisk’s jaw dropped.

The camera was shaking, she could hear Chara breathing heavily. Then she heard Toriel’s nurturing voice sing-songing Chara’s name in the background. It looked like Chara was running through the living room.

_“MOM I SAID I DON’T-”_

There was a loud 'whoosh' noise and the camera was turned up. The view of the ceiling was soon obstructed by a cloud-patterned blanket.

“It's okay Chara!” Toriel was saying. “I'll wrap you in as many blankets as you want! You needn't worry, my child! A mother’s work is never too much!”

Chara was shouting something Frisk couldn't make out. The video ended. Frisk stared at the screen for a moment, Chara had been typing for the past few minutes.

**< Chara<3 is typing...>**

Still typing... still typing..

Frisk didn't think she was at the phone any more. “Should I save her?” She wondered aloud. Frisk rolled onto her back. Sans’ feet were dangling over her stomach from the couch. Short ass skeleton, she thought bitterly. This was all his fault. If Sans hadn't showed up… she'd be enjoying the afterglow of lesbian sex. Or maybe still having it. Frisk narrowed her eyes. Not that she wanted to have sex with Chara after that attitude. Just thinking about it pissed her off. She quickly changed Chara's contact from 'Chara<3' to 'Chara</3'.

Frisk suddenly shot up. “If I can't bone Chara, I’ll just find someone else!”

“that's cheating,” Sans pointed out, not looking away from the TV, all of the sudden listening to her.

“That's what you're worried about?”

“hey, hey, i’m all about monogamy.”

“Since when does monogamy translate to never getting anyone and dying alone?”

Sans looked down at Frisk. She stared back at him, unabating. A forced grin stretched his skull and Frisk was instantly horrified by it. Suddenly a cold sensation tickled Frisk’s chest and she squealed as she was lifted from the ground, blue glow around her. She dropped onto the couch beside Sans, still wrapped in her (Chara’s) blanket with one arm out.

“ah,” Sans sighed, hooking an arm around Frisk's shoulder and giving her a noogie. “i won't die alone,” he said with a grin. “i got you.”

Frisk scowled as her hair was tussled. She tried to shake away. “I-I guess.”

“AND ME!” Papyrus said from the kitchen.

Neither of them knew he was home.

Frisk screamed for Sans to get his _bony ass fingers_ out of her hair and wondered how he would react when she moved out for college.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what to rate this. Maybe M? But I've read some pretty full-on smut, M-rated stuff... sooooOOoo ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	4. V O R E

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not what you think.

Frisk has skeletons in her closet. Well, really just one. “Papyrus,” she said. “I told you that I'm too old for hide and seek.” She opened the closet door and found the seven foot tall skeleton hunched over inside.

“AH!” He shouted. “I’VE BEEN FOUND! YOU’RE VERY GOOD AT THIS, HUMAN!”

Frisk groaned, “That’s because I watched you go in there-”

Papyrus gasped, “LOWLY CHEATER!”

“-because I'm not _playing.”_

Papyrus pulled himself out of the closet, coat hangers hooked around his arms and shoulders. “FRET NOT HUMAN, YOU CANNOT JAPE A GRAND JAPESTER!”

“I wasn’t fretting.”

“I WILL HIDE SOMEWHERE THAT EVEN A CHEATER LIKE YOU WILL NOT FIND ME!”

_“Papyrus…”_

“NYEHEHEHEHEEEEH!”

He gallivanted beside Frisk and she tiredly rubbed her eyes, cursing when she saw all her glittery black eye shadow on the back of her hands. Frisk had half a mind to go reapply it, but she really had to stop Papyrus before this went any further. “Paps!” She shouted, walking into the hall. “How about I hide and you never find me! And you tell Sans not to find me… and everyone leaves me alone.” Frisk smiled. She liked that idea. “Sounds good!?”

“IT DOES NOT, NYEH!”

Frisk caught a flash of red and white as she glanced over banister. Her face fixed into a determined look and she and quickly dashed to the stairs. “Papyrus!!”

“THIS ISN’T TAG, HUMAN!”

“Oh? Says who!?” Frisk slid down the railing and followed Papyrus’s voice into the laundry room, which branched from the kitchen. She saw the red of his glove just before the washing machine top fell shut.

“Of all the places…” she mumbled. When Papyrus didn't make any sound, Frisk realized he was very much committed to his hiding spot. “God… fine. Oh where could the Great Papyrus be!?” She shouted, deciding to play along. “Is he… here?” She checked the hamper. “No… is he here!?” She checked the trash. “No… that's just Sans…” She laughed a little at her own joke, mumbling something about Sans being trash.

Frisk slowly approached the washing machine. Just to build the suspense, she opened the dryer first. “Dang!” She said in fake disappointment. “Thought I had you!” She slowly, slowly reached for the washing machine handle. “That means… you must be…” she flung the top open, “HERE!”

Frisk stared into the washing machine.

There were only dirty socks.

 

* * *

 

Sans came home to an oddly quiet house. “s’weird, could've sworn paps was home…” he wondered if maybe he took Frisk to the park or something. Hopefully he wasn't trying to walk her again.

Ha, that almost turned out really bad for them.

“anyone home?”

“...e’s...one...e’s...one...ow...now...ust…”

Sans raised a brow bone and slowly headed to the kitchen. “kid?” The murmurs were clearer now, but he still couldn't discern them.

“He’sgonehe’sjustgonewheredidhegoIhavenoideahowisthispossibleit’sjustadryernotsometeleportationdeviceseriouslywhoiseventakingthetimetoreadallofthisthat'scraz-”

“kid!” Sans found her with her legs to her chest, arms around them, rocking herself back and forth as she muttered at top speed.

He slowly switched the light on and she looked back at him.

“oh fuck!” Sans yelped. Her eye shadow was smudged, her eyes were wide, bloodshot, and watery, black tear stains striping her cheeks. Her lips were chapped and still moving as she murmured.

Sans stared at her for a long moment and then let out a sigh, grimace shrinking into a small grin. He’d read about this.

Heartbreak.

Sans walked into the laundry room and sat across from Frisk. He took her hands in his. “now frisk…”

She pulled her hands away.

He took them again. “now, frisk…”

She slapped his hands and pulled hers away. Sans grabbed her hands immediately and she snapped. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?”

“i’m establishing physical connection! it’ll make it easier for you to talk to me! positive vibes, frisk, _positive vibes!”_

“STOP READING THAT BOOK!”

“alright. 'that book' is helpful. it is because of 'that book' that i know exactly what you're going through.”

“Oh,” Frisk said lamely. “Really?”

“yes really, and i can help you too.”

Frisk just stared.

Sans grinned. “chara was a nice kid, frisk. a bit evil, stabby at times, but you know… his mom was hot.”

Frisk suppressed a cringe. “Sans this isn't about—”

“his mom, yer right. just had to get that in there because she really has it _goatin_ ’ on—”

“No, I mean—”

“right, sorry. yer heart is no laughing matter. there will be, asgore help us, more charas. there will be more guys, girls, androgynous childr—”

“Papyrus is missing.”

Sans stuttered to a stop. His sockets when black. “p a p y r u s i s w h a t ?”

 

* * *

 

“...And that's why I think the washing machine is actually an inter-dimensional travel device.”

Sans had his arms folded across his chest. “the washing machine?”

Frisk nodded.

He walked across the room and tapped it with a fist. “this hunkajunk?”

“It's not junk.”

“it _ate_ my _brother!”_

“Ok, so a little junky. Maybe it's punishing you for the putrid state of your socks whenever you finally wash them.”

“maybe it's punishing you from being an awful daughter!”

“maYBe IT’s pUniShiNG YoU FOr beInG— _YOU’RE NOT MY FATHER!”_

Sans lifted a hand as Frisk leaned forward with a scowl. He took a few calming breaths, a tip he read was good to use around teenagers. He spoke only when he was sure his tone would come out even. “this is all beside the point. papyrus is missing, you've got to find him.”

“ _I’ve_ got to find him!? Why me!?”

“ _you_ lost him!”

“I’m the child!”

“oh now you're a child? miss ‘i’m sixteen and i can do anything!’” Sans’s voice hit a pitch that Frisk wasn't even aware existed for him.

“...I do not sound like that!”

“‘m jus sayin’ it’s real funny how adolescence works in your favor like that.”

“Oh grow up!”

“find papyrus, then we can talk.”

“He was EATEN by a WASHING MACHINE. How can I possibly FIND HIM!?”

Sans took a step forward and folded his arms over his chest. Frisk stepped forward too, slouching a bit to glare right into his eyes as he said: “t r y ."

Despite his accusatory tone, Sans searched the house just as much as Frisk did. It was the most active she’d ever seen him. They pulled the washer and dryer from the wall, the fridge too. They opened every cabinet, triple checked every closet, upturned the couch; Frisk even checked behind bookshelves and paintings for secret passageways.

She actually found one, but Sans grabbed her by the waist and snatched her away from it, promptly telling her that Paps definitely wasn't in there. Frisk stared into down the dark, secret stairwell. She turned away and crossed the living room, flicking a strand of hair off her shoulder. “Whatever, creep.”

“don't call me that.”

“Okay daddy.”

“fer fuck’s sake.”

Eventually, they were back in the laundry room once more. Frisk had burst into tears about four times and her face was now all puffy and smeared with eyeliner and eye shadow.

Sans had his rounded chin pinched between his phalanges, his face was one of concentration. Suddenly his brow bones lifted and a light blue glow caught Frisk’s attention. The washing machine and dryer were lifted by magic and placed back against the wall, wires reconnecting with the shimmer of blue magic around them.

Sans walked over to the washing machine and patted it.

Frisk sniffed. “Fancy.”

“thanks, now get in.”

The girl blinked a few times. “...Huh?”

The washing machine door lifted and Sans nodded to it. “get in.”

Frisk swallowed. “I don't think this is the safest idea.”

“just get in the fuckin’ washin’ machine, kid.”

_“Saaaahnnss…”_

Sans began opening and closing the top. “nomnomnom, see?”

Frisk recoiled in horror. “That's not funny?”

Sans continued making munching noises. “c’mon kid he’s hungry.”

“I'm disgusted.”

Sans stopped. “why?”

“Vore--”

Sans didn't let her finish that word and snapped his fingers, lifting Frisk by the soul and dropping her into the machine.

Frisk screamed.

“don't worry, uh, i’ll check with the parenting forum later. m’sure this is fine. character building.”

“Sans don't close that door, _please do not--”_

“for papyrus,” he said softly before slamming the door shut. Sans counted to ten and lifted the top.

Frisk was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh shit, where'd they go!?
> 
> Also I'm thinking about sliiiiiiddddiiinnngg over to the BNHA fandom. It always starts with an INNOCENT Google search... then Tumblr... then I'm just in too deep. Though, once you write about skeletons can you _really_ go back?


	5. leash n' collar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New-ish monsters come into play

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestive chap titles are suggestive.

“IFUCKINGHATEYOUSANS- oh.”

When Frisk pushed open the top of the washing machine, she found that she was still in the laundry room. Only… it was cleaner. For one, Sans wasn’t in it, and two, it was as if everything were put back after being ransacked. Frisk also noted the spic and span floors. Maybe Papyrus returned in the five seconds she spent in the dark. And scrubbed the floors.

Yeah, no, she didn’t think that at all.

Frisk climbed out of the washing machine and closed it. “Sans?” She called out.

She heard chatter drift in from beyond the kitchen and quickly left the laundry room, crossed though the kitchen, and stepped onto the - freshly vacuumed? - carpet of the living room… The carpet was red. Why?

There were two skeletons on the couch. Matched in height… which, was totally _not_ right.

Frisk’s eyes widened. “Papyrus!?”

The skeleton turned around. He stared at her for all of two seconds and then gasped. “GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY, YOU’VE FOUND ME AGAIN!”

Frisk nodded. “Yeah, uh… and who else did I find?” The second skeleton turned around and Frisk shrieked. “Oh my god it’s so ugly!”

“WOULD YOU CARE TO REPEAT THAT, HUMAN!?” The skeleton moved in a flash, vaulting over the back of the couch. Frisk was suddenly lifted by the collar of her sweater and came face to face with angry triangular sockets.

Frisk’s brows knitted together. “Papyrus?” She said. She looked over Papyrus’ shoulder and found… Papyrus… on the couch. “Papyrus,” she stated.

She looked back to the new Papyrus, he looked like he was wearing shoulder pads under his leather crop top. His scarf had holes and tears, like moths had gotten to it. His teeth were sharp. Ugh, it was Papyrus but… “U-G-L-Y!” Frisk shouted.

She was hurled onto the couch. Papyrus, her Papyrus, not the daft punk edge-lord Papyrus, picked her up.

“EDGE!” Papyrus shouted, “THIS IS MY HUMAN, YOU CANNOT THROW HER.”

“THERE WON’T BE MUCH TO THROW ONCE I’M THROUGH WITH IT.”

Frisk squeaked, “wOAH wHAT!?” She grabbed her Papyrus by the scarf, “Wanna go home, Paps? I do. Okay let’s go.”

Frisk got up to leave, but Papyrus snaked an arm around her waist and sat her back down. “WAIT! YOU MUST MEET MY FRIEND, EDGE, FRISK.”

“That sounded vaguely like you telling me what to do and quite frankly, I don’t-”

“EDGE, MEET FRISK,” Papyrus said.

‘Edge’ glared at Frisk, “THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ITS FACE.”

Frisk sneered, “Sorry, my face gets like this around peopLE I DON’T LIKE.”

Edge folded his arms, “THE FEELING IS MUTUAL, BUT I MEANT THE BLACK SMUDGES. IT’S FILTHY.”

“Oh,” Frisk rubbed her cheeks, fingers coming away black. “Makeup smeared. I was crying earlier, but also fuck you.”

“CRYING?!” Both Papyrus and Edge said.

Edge glanced to the side, “...WHY?”

Frisk turned, arms resting on the back of the couch. “ _Why_ would you care?”

“I DON’T,” Edge snapped.

“I DO,” Papyrus interjected.

“How are you two even friends…” Frisk mumbled. “Oh my god, the washing machine really was an inter-dimensional travel box thing. Sans is going to fa-reak.”

“SANS!?” Edge asked. “WHY WOULD MY BROTHER CARE?”

“I BELIEVE SHE MEANS _MY_ BROTHER.”

“Yeah, daddy Sans,” Frisk said.

Everyone turned their head at the sound of spluttering from the doorway. Snow barrelled in behind the new skeleton. It was Sans, but not. He wore a leather padded coat with a fur lined hood, shorts and high top sneakers - lazily unlaced. He was currently wiping… yellow sauce from his mouth from his mouth, mustard? “w-what did that thing jus’ say, boss?”

Frisk noticed he was sweating, despite coming inside from sub-zero weather. Were they even still in New Snowdin?

“REPEAT YOURSELF, FIEND.” Frisk was flicked in the back of the head by Edge. It actually had quite a bit of force behind and Frisk’s head rocked forward.

She hissed and rubbed the sore spot. “Uh, does that approach actually work? With anyone?”

“IT WORKS WITH MY BROTHER,” Edge admitted.

“I CALL HIS BROTHER RED,” Papyrus said. “BECAUSE HE IS LIKE A RED SANS.”

“i _am_ sans.”

“ _Why do you know these people?”_ Frisk asked. She watched as the new Sans, aka Red, closed the door behind him, kicked some snow from his high-top sneakers, and slowly crossed the room. “say boss, did happy-pap bring this for us?”

“THIS IS THE HUMAN HE IS CARING FOR, SANS - ER, RED.”

“i see…” Red eyed Frisk and she recoiled.

“Ugh, you’re not him and I hate you just as much. How is this possible?” Frisk wanted to leave, like, ten minutes ago.

“ah, don’t bother hatin’ me, dollface. waste of energy, jus’ ask boss.”

“I DISAGREE,” Edge replied.

“ah. nevermind.”

Frisk felt the couch cushions sink as Red sat beside her. Her eye twitched and she scooted closer to Papyrus.

“don’t be like that, yer so cute, look atcha. say happy-pap, where’d ya find it?”

“ _Her,”_ Frisk amended.

“SHE FOUND US.”

Red’s eyes didn’t waver from Frisk. “that so.”

“IT VERY MUCH IS SO.”

Red finally pulled his sockets away from Frisk and she let out a long sigh. He reclined against the couch cushions and looked up at his brother, who was still standing behind the couch. “ey boss, say we adopt her. ya always wanted me to get a pet so i’d stop pesterin’ ya.”

“OH NO!” Papyrus interjected, much to Frisk’s relief, “SHE ISN’T A PET, I WALKED HER ONCE AND WAS RUDELY HALTED BY THE CPS.”

Frisk’s eyes widened, she spun to face her secondary caretaker. “Papyrus that was not the important part of what he just said!” Frisk felt a hand on her shoulder and she was quickly spun back around to sit properly on the couch once more, this time with an arm draped over her shoulders.

“ya like a leash an’ collar, then?”

Frisk cringed, “Dude cool it, I have a whole boy-girl-friend.”

“don’t see em.”

“Yeah, they missed the washing-machine-dimension-jump memo.”

“isse the other sans?”

Frisk pushed his arm away. “Ugh! No! Why would you _say_ that?”

Red shrugged, “heard ya call em daddy. figurin’ now that you didn’t mean me.”

Frisk wanted to tear her hair out. “BECAUSE HE IS A FATHER FIGUR—AGH.” She glanced to the side, the desire to explain herself dissipated. “No… my boy-girl-friend… they’re…” She sighed. “They’re amazing and I’m such a fucking idiot for letting them down.”

Edge found a place on the _edge_ of the couch beside Red. “HOW SO?”

“yeah toots, what didja do?”

“I WASN’T AWARE YOU AND CHARA WERE HAVING ISSUES…”

Frisk sighed and brought her knees to her chest. “Well… It all started when I was born…”

 

Three hours later, Frisk concluded her story.

 

“geez... you kinda treated em bad, kid.”

“IT DOES SOUND LIKE THEY WERE BEING EARNEST AND YOU WERE BEING…” Papyrus trailed off, looking nervous.

“QUITE SELFISH,” Edge finished for him.

“I feel attacked,” Frisk said.

They all continued roasting her relationship approach (and her) until she screamed that she got it.

“Papyrus,” Frisk said. “I never thought I would say this...ever… but we should get home… Sans is probably losing his mind.”

“OH YOU’RE QUITE RIGHT! I HOPE HE HASN’T MADE A WALLOWING NEST. HE DOES THAT WHEN HE’S FEELING NEGLECTED.”

Frisk snickered and stood up to leave when she felt a hand on her wrist. She followed the phalanges and traced them back to red, his skull flushed and sweaty. He cleared his throat and let go of her. “heya, frisk… if ya ever need a… a, uh… if ya… if...y’know?”

Frisk stared at him and smiled, “I know.”

She had no fucking idea what he meant.

Papyrus and Frisk said goodbye to the red skelebros and piled into the washing machine together.

“FRISK YOUR ARM IS IN MY RIBCAGE.”

“That’s my leg.”

“OH.”

“Mhm…”

“FRISK YOUR LEG IS IN MY-”

“ _I KNOW!_ ”

They sat in the darkness for a few seconds longer. “Think it’s done?”

Papyrus didn’t reply, but he stretched a hand up and pushed the top of the washing machine up slightly. “HAVE A LOOK. I CAN’T REALLY MOVE WITH YOUR LEG WHERE IT IS.” Frisk could've sworn she heard some passive aggressiveness in his tone, but that's _impossible_ so she dismissed it.

“Gotcha…” Frisk lifted up slight, earning a wince from Papyrus. She peeked out and saw the laundry room. It looked… familiar. “Sans?” She called out.

Silence.

And then loud bounding steps made Frisk jump and she waited to see the source.

Sans… _ran_ around the corner.

“Sans?” Frisk questioned.

He looked so happy to see her. There were… stars in his sockets. He had a baby blue bandana looking scarf around his neck. Frisk’s lips thinned as Sans charged forward. “MWEHEHEH!” he laughed.

“Mayday, mayday, not Sans I repeat, it is _not_ Sans.” Frisk bristled and sunk back into the washing machine basin, “Papyrus close it, cLOSE IT NOW!”

The top slammed shut.

More silence.

Eventually Papyrus lifted it again. Frisk was feeling woozy. She peeked out, took one look at the familiar setting and crawled out of the washing machine, collapsing onto the floor. She sniffed and shook her head. A dirty sock fell. _Ah, home._


End file.
